Tilgate Golf Seniors: May 2012

Wednesday 30 May 2012

Queen's Jubilee at Tilgate!

Monthly Medal!

Ron Humphrey

Mike Dean

28 May

Division 1

Ron Humphrey 82-17 Hcp = 65

Byran Foster 79 - 12 Hcp = 67

Bill Aston 89-19 Hcp = 70

Division 2

Mike Dean 100-28 Hcp = 72

Ron Stocker 104-28 Hcp = 76

Roger Pearce 104-28 Hcp = 76

Sunday 27 May 2012

Mobiles!

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man answers it with the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
Golfer: "Hello"
Woman: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
Golfer: "Yes."

Woman: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
Golfer: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

Woman: "I also stopped by the Porsche dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
Golfer: "How much?"
Woman: "£90,000."
Golfer: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
Woman: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jane and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £980,000 for it."
Golfer: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of £900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."
Golfer: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
Golfer: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"