Saturday, 28 July 2012


While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman

Alliance Stapleford 4 Ball!

23 July 2012
First Jim Diamond, Bryan Foster, Bill Huntley and Alan Smith   80 pts
Second Colin Duggan, Ken Jordan, Joe Burgin and Peter Watkins 79 pts
Third Ivor Clays, Mick Hart, Mike Dean and Colin Puddephatt

Sunday, 22 July 2012

Summer Stapleford!

Mike Dean
Monday 16 July 2012
First Mike Dean 37 pts
Second Clive Phelps 36 pts
Third Bryan Foster 36 pts 

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Captain's Day!

9 July 2012 

First  John Wilson   39 pts
Second Gavin Grove  34 pts
Third Richard Aldridge 33 pts

Sunday, 8 July 2012

Greensomes Cup!

Tudor Williams
2 July 2012
First Tudor Williams and Bill Crozier   35 pts
Second Don O'brien and Mike Dean  33 pts
Third Ron Stocker and Dug Godfrey 33 pts 
Bill Crozier

Friday, 29 June 2012


One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a
bowling ball.

Don Carter, pro bowler

Thursday, 28 June 2012

Texas Scramble!

25 June 2012
First  Eddie Bowles. Mike Dean, Ted Milbourne and Ian Joseph   65pts
Second Gavin Grove, Brian Wood, Les Ould and Barry Preston 67 pts
Third Peter Watkins, Bill Huntley, Fred Green and Dug Godfrey 67 pts 

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Essay competition!

From John Bennett
A college class was told they had to write a short story
in as few words as possible.
The short story had to contain the following three things:

The winning essay was:
“Good God, I’m pregnant; I wonder who did it?”

Saturday, 23 June 2012

Better Ball Trophy!

Byran Foster
18 June
First Byran Foster and John Wilson  43 pts
Second Eddie Bowles and Ron Stocker 41 pts
Third Alan Smith and Roger Pearce 41 pts 
John Wilson

Thursday, 7 June 2012

Eurozone crisis!

By John Bennett 
Subject: Eurozone Crisis Quote

Credit Suisse quote: "The market is currently like a strapless bra; half of us are wondering what is holding it up and the other half are waiting for it to drop so they can grab the opportunity with both hands".

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Queen's Jubilee at Tilgate!

Monthly Medal!

Ron Humphrey
Mike Dean
28 May
Division 1
Ron Humphrey  82-17 Hcp = 65
Byran Foster  79 - 12 Hcp = 67
Bill Aston  89-19 Hcp = 70
Division 2
Mike Dean  100-28 Hcp = 72
Ron Stocker  104-28 Hcp = 76
Roger Pearce  104-28 Hcp = 76

Sunday, 27 May 2012


Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man answers it with the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
Golfer: "Hello"
Woman: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
Golfer: "Yes."
Woman: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
Golfer: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
Woman: "I also stopped by the Porsche dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
Golfer: "How much?"
Woman: "£90,000." 
Golfer: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
Woman: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jane and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £980,000 for it."
Golfer: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of £900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."
Golfer: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
Golfer: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"

Whitsun Trophy!

21 May
Bryan Foster
Bryan Foster  40 pts
Eddie Bowles  37 pts
Brian Wood  36 pts

Thursday, 17 May 2012

Four Seasons Trophy!

Peter Watkins
14 May
First Peter Watkins   39 pts
Second Terry Penfold  36 pts
Third Gavin Grove  36 pts

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Texas Scramble!

First Gavin Grove, Ron Humphrey,Alex Keating and Barry Preston  65
Second Terry Penfold, John Dunlevy, Don Warner and Tudor Williams 66
Third Mike Dean, Brian Wood and Bryan Foster  68

Sunday, 6 May 2012

Mayday Rosebowl!

1 May
First Ron Humphrey 37 pts
Second Terry Penfold 37 pts
John Rea 35 pts

Thursday, 26 April 2012


23 April
First Bryan Foster and Alec Steven 31 pts
Second John Wilson and Bill Crozier 27 pts
Third Terry Penfold and Ian Joseph 25 pts

Saturday, 21 April 2012

The Spring Cup!

17 April

First Ron Humphrey net 66

Second Joe Burgin net 73

Third Bill Crozier net 74.

Thursday, 12 April 2012

Five Clubs + Pals Trophy

First Don O'Brien 34 pts

Second Terry Penfold 34 pts

Third Eddie Bowles 31 pts

Sunday, 8 April 2012


After a busy day I settled down on the train to Victoria when the guy sitting near me got out his mobile "Hi darling it's Peter, I'm on the train - yes, I know it's the 6.30 not the 4.30 but I had a long meeting - no, not with that floozie from the typing pool, with the boss no darling you're the only one in my life - yes, I'm sure, cross my heart" etc., etc. This was still going on at Croydon , when the young woman opposite, driven beyond endurance, yelled at the top of her voice.

"Peter, turn that bloody phone off and come back to bed!"

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

April Monthly Medal!

Divison 1

First Eddie Bowles 69

Second Brian Wood 71

Divison 2
First Reg Luff 70

Second Ian Joseph 71

Saturday, 31 March 2012

Four Ball Team Challenge!

Monday 26 March

First Ken Pattenden, Ron Stocker, Peter Quelch and Terry Penfold 130 pts

Second John Rea, Bill Huntley, Dug Godfrey and Stan Smith 124 pts

Third Reg Luff, John Dunlevy, Bill Power and Fred Green 122 pts

Sunday, 25 March 2012

Hi de Hi!

A reminder to see this comedy production with our very own Dug Godfrey!

Friday, 23 March 2012

Whisky Singles!

Monday 19 March

First Tudor Williams 36 pts

Second Eddie Bowles 34 pts

Third Ron Humphrey 33 pts

Awaiting correct picture of Tudor!

Saturday, 17 March 2012

American Foursomes!

Monday 12 March

First Eddie Bowles and Alex Keating 33 pts

Second Don Warner and Dug Godfrey 32 pts

Third Jim Diamond and Mike Dean 31 pts

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Four Seasons Trophy!

5 March

First Ron Humphrey 37 pts

Second John Rea 35 pts

Third Gavin Grove 35 pts

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Yellow Ball!

27 February

Yellow Ball Competition

First Bill Ashton, Dug Godfrey and Don O'Brien 154 pts

Second Ron Humphrey, Ian Joseph and Fred Sanson 139 pts

Third John Rea, Jim Roberts and Reg Luff 138 pts

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Tilgate Seniors Fixture List 2012

Tuesday 3rd ECLECTIC LEAGUE Stableford Tilgate
Monday 9th TEXAS SCRAMBLE Stroke Play Tilgate
Monday 16th ECLECTIC LEAGUE Stableford Tilgate
Monday 23rd ECLECTIC LEAGUE Stableford Tilgate
Monday 30th TEXAS SCRAMBLE Stroke Play Tilgate

Monday 6th ECLECTIC LEAGUE Stableford Tilgate
Thursday 9th SENIORS AGM
Monday 13th TEXAS SCRAMBLE Stroke Play Tilgate
Monday 20th ECLECTIC LEAGUE Stableford Tilgate
Monday 27th YELLOW BALL Stableford Tilgate

Monday 5th FOUR SEASONS TROPHY Stableford Tilgate
Monday 12th AMERICAN FOURSOMES Stableford Tilgate
Wednesday 14th AWAYDAY To be arranged
Monday 19th WHISKY SINGLES Stableford Tilgate
Monday 26th 4 BALL TEAM CHALLENGE Stableford Tilgate

Monday 2nd MONTHLY MEDAL S Strokeplay Tilgate
Tuesday 10th FIVE CLUB PALS TROPHY Stableford Tilgate
Thursday 19th 19th H.O.G.G.S Fourball Tilgate
Monday 16th The SPRING CUP Strokeplay Tilgate
Wednesday 18th COMMITTEE CUP Fourball Tilgate
Monday 23rd GREENSOMES Stableford Tilgate
Wednesday 25th REDHILL & REIGATE G C Fourball Tilgate
Monday 30th MAYDAY ROSEBOWL Stableford Tilgate

Tuesday 8th TEXAS SCRAMBLE Strokeplay Tilgate
Monday 14th FOUR SEASONS TROPHY Stableford Tilgate
Tuesday 22nd H.O.G.G.S. Fourball Horton Park
Monday 21st WHITSUN TROPHY Stableford Tilgate
Friday 25th FARLEIGH COURT G C Fourball Farleigh
Monday 28th MONTHLY MEDAL Strokeplay Tilgate
Wednesday 30th SLINFOLD PARK Fourball Tilgate

Wednesday 6th Fourball Challenge Stableford Tilgate
Thursday 7th PARTNERS PUTT Tilgate
Monday 11th JIM ROBERTS TROPHY Strokeplay Tilgate
Wednesday 13th FOXBRIDGE G.C. Fourball Tilgate
Monday 18th BETTER BALL TROPHY Stableford Tilgate
Thursday 21st REDHIL& Reigate Fourball Redhill
Monday 25th TEXAS SCRAMBLE Strokeplay Tilgate
Wednesday 27th SWEETWOODS Fourball Tilgate
Monday 2nd GREENSOMES CUP Stableford Tilgate
Wednesday 4th HASSOCKS Fourball Tilgate
Monday 9th CAPTAIN'S DAY TBA Tilgate
Wednesday 11th FOXBRIDGE Fourball Foxbridge
Monday 16th SUMMER STABLEFORD Stableford Tilgate
Wednesday 18th CAPTAIN'S CHALLENGE TBA Tilgate
Monday 23rd ALLIANCE STABLEFORD Stableford Tilgate
Wednesday 25th SURREY NATIONAL G C Fourball Tilgate
Monday 30th MONTHLY MEDAL Strokeplay Tilgate

Thursday 2nd SLINFOLD Fourball Slinfold
Monday 6th SUMMER TANKARD Stableford Tilgate
Monday 13th FOUR SEASONS TROPHY Stableford Tilgate
Wednesday 15th SWEETWOODS Fourball Sweetwoods
Monday 20th AMERICAN FOURSOMES Stableford Tilgate
Thursday23rd FARLEIGH COURT Fourball Tilgate
Tuesday 28th MONTHLY MEDAL Strokeplay Tilgate
Wednesday 29th SURREY NATIONAL Fourball Chaldon

Monday 3rg TED BRAND TROPHY Strokeplay Tilgate
Thursday 6th MATCH v LADIES T B A Tilgate
Monday 10th YELLOW BALL Stableford Tilgate
Thursday 13th PARTNER PUTT Tilgate
Monday 17th AUTUMN CUP Stableford Tilgate
Thursday 20th HASSOCKS G C Fourball Hassocks
Monday 24th MILLENNIUM TROPHY Pairs Tilgate
Thursday 27th AWAYDAY To be Arranged

Monday 1st INAUGURAL SHIELD Stableford Tilgate
Wednesday 3rd TILGATE TROPHY (Cap V Cap)Ryder Cup Tilgate
Monday 8th JIM KENRICK TROPHY Stableford Tilgate
Monday 15th AGGREGATE STABLEFORD Stableford Tilgate
Monday 22nd CHARITY DAY&Scotsman CupStableford Tilgate
Monday 29th FOUR SEASONS TROPHY Stableford Tilgate
Monday 5th TEXAS SCRAMBLE Strokeplay Tilgate
Monday 12th ECLECTIC LEAGUE Stableford Tilgate
Monday 19th TEXAS SCRAMBLE Stroke Play Tilgate
Monday 26th ECLECTIC LEAGUE Stableford Tilgate

Monday 3rd TEXAS SCRAMBLE Stroke Play Tilgate
Monday 10th BRIAN CASEY SHIELD Stableford Tilgate
Monday 17th ECLECTIC LEAGUE Stableford Tilgate
Monday 24th TEXAS SCRAMBLE Strokeplay Tilgate

Eclectic and General News!

Eclectic 20/02/2012

First Reg Luff 38points (Hcp28)
Second Peter Quelch 37points (Hcp 22)
Third Eddie Bowles 36Points (Hcp 18)

Eclectic final figures
First Bill Aston 61 Net
Second Gavin Grove 64 Net
Third Bryan Foster 64 Net

New Captain Eddie Bowles

Vice Captain Dug Godfrey

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Hi de hi at the Ifield Barn!

You should go and see this comedy production with our very own Dug Godfrey!

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Texas Scramble!

30 January

First Terry Phillips, Eddie Bowles,Ivor Clays and Mike Dean 65 pts

Second Don Warner, Dug Godfrey and Stan Smith 66 pts

Third Jim Roberts, Alec Stevens, Alex Keating and Alan Smith 66 pts

Sunday, 29 January 2012

Eclectic latest!

23 January

Apologies been away for 3 weeks!

First Gavin Grove 44 pts

Second Ron Humphrey 41 pts

Third Terry Phillips 40 pts