Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Essay competition!

From John Bennett
A college class was told they had to write a short story
in as few words as possible.
The short story had to contain the following three things:
1.Religion
2.Sexuality

3.Mystery
The winning essay was:
“Good God, I’m pregnant; I wonder who did it?”





Saturday, 23 June 2012

Better Ball Trophy!

Byran Foster
18 June
First Byran Foster and John Wilson  43 pts
Second Eddie Bowles and Ron Stocker 41 pts
Third Alan Smith and Roger Pearce 41 pts 
John Wilson

Thursday, 7 June 2012

Eurozone crisis!

By John Bennett 
Subject: Eurozone Crisis Quote

Credit Suisse quote: "The market is currently like a strapless bra; half of us are wondering what is holding it up and the other half are waiting for it to drop so they can grab the opportunity with both hands".

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Queen's Jubilee at Tilgate!

Monthly Medal!

Ron Humphrey
Mike Dean
28 May
Division 1
Ron Humphrey  82-17 Hcp = 65
Byran Foster  79 - 12 Hcp = 67
Bill Aston  89-19 Hcp = 70
Division 2
Mike Dean  100-28 Hcp = 72
Ron Stocker  104-28 Hcp = 76
Roger Pearce  104-28 Hcp = 76

Sunday, 27 May 2012

Mobiles!

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man answers it with the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
Golfer: "Hello"
Woman: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
Golfer: "Yes."
Woman: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
Golfer: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
Woman: "I also stopped by the Porsche dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
Golfer: "How much?"
Woman: "£90,000." 
Golfer: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
Woman: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jane and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £980,000 for it."
Golfer: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of £900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."
Golfer: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
Golfer: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"






Whitsun Trophy!

21 May
Bryan Foster
Bryan Foster  40 pts
Eddie Bowles  37 pts
Brian Wood  36 pts