Tilgate Golf Seniors

Saturday, 28 July 2012

Balls!

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

Henny Youngman

Alliance Stapleford 4 Ball!

23 July 2012

First Jim Diamond, Bryan Foster, Bill Huntley and Alan Smith 80 pts

Second Colin Duggan, Ken Jordan, Joe Burgin and Peter Watkins 79 pts

Third Ivor Clays, Mick Hart, Mike Dean and Colin Puddephatt

Sunday, 22 July 2012

Summer Stapleford!

Mike Dean

Monday 16 July 2012

First Mike Dean 37 pts

Second Clive Phelps 36 pts

Third Bryan Foster 36 pts

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Captain's Day!

9 July 2012

First John Wilson 39 pts

Second Gavin Grove 34 pts

Third Richard Aldridge 33 pts

Sunday, 8 July 2012

Greensomes Cup!

Tudor Williams

2 July 2012

First Tudor Williams and Bill Crozier 35 pts

Second Don O'brien and Mike Dean 33 pts

Third Ron Stocker and Dug Godfrey 33 pts

Bill Crozier

Friday, 29 June 2012

Bowls!

One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a
bowling ball.

Don Carter, pro bowler

Thursday, 28 June 2012

Texas Scramble!

25 June 2012

First Eddie Bowles. Mike Dean, Ted Milbourne and Ian Joseph 65pts

Second Gavin Grove, Brian Wood, Les Ould and Barry Preston 67 pts

Third Peter Watkins, Bill Huntley, Fred Green and Dug Godfrey 67 pts

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Essay competition!

From John Bennett

A college class was told they had to write a short story
in as few words as possible.
The short story had to contain the following three things:

1.Religion

2.Sexuality

3.Mystery

The winning essay was:

“Good God, I’m pregnant; I wonder who did it?”

Saturday, 23 June 2012

Better Ball Trophy!

Byran Foster

18 June

First Byran Foster and John Wilson 43 pts

Second Eddie Bowles and Ron Stocker 41 pts

Third Alan Smith and Roger Pearce 41 pts

John Wilson

Thursday, 7 June 2012

Eurozone crisis!

By John Bennett

Subject: Eurozone Crisis Quote

Credit Suisse quote: "The market is currently like a strapless bra; half of us are wondering what is holding it up and the other half are waiting for it to drop so they can grab the opportunity with both hands".

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Queen's Jubilee at Tilgate!

Monthly Medal!

Ron Humphrey

Mike Dean

28 May

Division 1

Ron Humphrey 82-17 Hcp = 65

Byran Foster 79 - 12 Hcp = 67

Bill Aston 89-19 Hcp = 70

Division 2

Mike Dean 100-28 Hcp = 72

Ron Stocker 104-28 Hcp = 76

Roger Pearce 104-28 Hcp = 76

Sunday, 27 May 2012

Mobiles!

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man answers it with the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
Golfer: "Hello"
Woman: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
Golfer: "Yes."

Woman: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
Golfer: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

Woman: "I also stopped by the Porsche dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
Golfer: "How much?"
Woman: "£90,000."
Golfer: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
Woman: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jane and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £980,000 for it."
Golfer: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of £900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."
Golfer: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
Golfer: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"